The Best Of Sickipedia: A Collection Of The Sickest, Most Offensive and Politically Incorrect Jokes

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I was watching the God channel with my disabled little sister the other day. After around thirty minutes, she rose from her wheelchair and walked across the room.

What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum. She said, ‘Two or three’. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed.” – Josie Long Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” – Peter KaySheila turns around with tears welling up in her eyes. "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant. I don't want to be a burden, so I'm just gonna kill myself!"

So the next day, when the little girl and her mother were driving to her ballet recital, the little girl said, "Mummy, I know how old you are, you're 36." Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!" People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.” – Victoria Wood

5 Best Office Jokes great for Mid-Week Laughter

Our collection Thanksgiving jokes has jokes collected for many years. Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread? The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. I’m 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. Sex with me these days is akin to thumbing marshmallows into the anus of a cat.” – Greg Davies Police are investigating the bigger picture of Mark Speight's death. It was sent in by 11 year old Susie from Reading.

I’m very old now and I’ve got a body like a dropped lasagne. Women now look at my naked body in the same fearful way that pensioners look at snow.” – Frankie Boyle (Photo: BBC) They called the partyvan and when it got near The license plate said "AUSTRIA" and it had dice in the mirror "you crazy" they said, "those ideas in your head are rare,"

“Look, Charlie,” the coach...

I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: Five people have been found guilty of conspiracy to supply millions of pounds worth of counterfeit Viagra. The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles. Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he notices his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge.I went to the doctors the other day and he said: “Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu.” So I went – and I got it. I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.” – Victoria Wood